Blame Vs. Forgiveness and Love

Living a life built on blame is like being stuck in a pit, which though dug by someone else, is our responsibility to escape.

When I think about being in a pit of blame, the story of Joseph and his brothers comes to mind. If anyone had the right to be bitter, angry, and assign blame, it was Joseph.

Because they were envious, his brothers tried to destroy his life. They were also able to break the heart of their father Jacob—who favored Joseph over them.

I cannot begin to imagine what this child endured, especially mentally and emotionally. Joseph was:

  • hated by his brothers
  • separated from his family
  • sold into slavery
  • sexually harassed
  • falsely accused
  • put into prison

Despite his circumstances, that were no fault of his own, Joseph did not focus on blame or self-pity. He chose forgiveness and healing.

Unfortunately, when we are stuck in our own pits, we tend to become more focused on how we ended up there.

No matter how much fault we can rightfully assign, the truth of the matter is that we are in circumstances that we don’t want to be in—and we need to pull ourselves out of. 

In my lifetime, I have experienced unfair treatment, betrayal, and my fair share of disappointments. It would be incredibly easy to look back and lay blame; and, on many occasions, I have.

Unfortunately, blaming planted seeds of bitterness that have been hard to remove from my spirit. It caused hard feelings and hardened my heart. 

Blame also disempowers us and relieves us of our responsibility. 

In fact, blame can cause us to justify thoughts and behaviors that are in direct contrast to what we are called to do, as Christians—love and forgive.


Father, we thank you that we get the opportunity to bring our hurts to you. We are grateful that you are a healer of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual pain. Jesus we ask that you strengthen us to forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. We know that we can do all things through you—including forgiveness of others.

Next Steps

  1. Ask God to help you examine your heart and identify any pits you may be stuck in.
  1. Develop the tools you need to climb out of your pit… especially a ladder of prayer. 
  1. Scripture tells us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Recognize that you don’t have to go through your situation alone. Rely on the strength of Christ to help you.
  1. Be sure to keep a prayer/Bible/conversations with Jesus journal. Writing out your struggles, prayers, and thoughts will help to deepen your relationship with Jesus and enrich the time you spend sitting at his feet.
Focus on forgiveness not blame.
<mark style="background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)" class="has-inline-color has-black-color">Char Aukland </mark>
Char Aukland

Hi! I’m Char Aukland…Christian, wife, homeschool mom, and U.S. Army veteran.

A love for Christ, sharing the Gospel, and experience from my personal struggles fuel my writing.

Additionally, I am the author of Life’s a Trip, a lifestyle workbook that takes an inside out approach to inner and outer weight loss.