Self-Care Gifts to Give and Receive

I used to think that caring for my body was as simple as eating right and exercising—which are major elements. They just aren’t the whole story. Self-care is bigger than that, it’s different for each of us, and it’s personal.

Beyond being mindful, de-stressing, and the typical advice, it may look like:

  • removing a toxic person from your life 
  • getting rid of your own toxic behaviors
  • taking time to sit in the silence and just breathe
  • working because you enjoy it
  • going to therapy

As we grow through life, our needs will change based on what we experience …and that’s important to remember. Be flexible.

No matter how you approach it, define self-care for yourself and participate in it.

Self-Care is NOT Selfish Indulgence

When we think of gifts, it is often in the material sense and involves another person. However, mental and emotional gifts, given to ourselves are just as, if not more, important. 

Giving the gift of self-care is about recognizing what we need, when we need it—and taking the time to give it to ourselves.

Unfortunately, this is sometimes confused with selfishness; but the two are worlds apart. Selfishness is being concerned with yourself, without a thought of others…as if they don’t matter.

In self-care, we are advocates for our health and well-being because we understand that we cannot pour from an empty cup. And, when we are generous with ourselves, we create a more loving and peaceful inner atmosphere—making it easier to share ourselves with others, in healthy ways.

Whatever self-care is for you, try to make choices that are:

  • Mentally replenishing
  • Physically healing
  • Emotionally soothing
  • Spiritually nurturing

Below are a few suggestions to get you started. When combined, they nourish our whole being.

# 1. Breathe

The more we connect with our mind and body, the greater our ability to recognize when we need to stop and rest—physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Alone time, silence, the calming effects of exercise, meditation, and journaling are all ways in which we can gift ourselves with the space to just stop and breathe.

when we are connected to our mind and body we understand the need for self-care

#2. Grace

Most of us have an easier time extending it to others, but grace is one gift we have to learn to give and receive—from within. Sadly, when we are acting as our own harshest critic, grace isn’t a thought. However, we can teach ourselves to give this gift by learning to:

  • recognize our negative self-talk
  • have self-compassion
  • understand that we won’t always get things just right
  • embrace ourselves

It won’t always be easy, but it is a priceless investment in our mental and emotional health.

# 3. Patience

Let’s look at patience from a perspective of impatience— which is devoid of kindness and empathy. Impatience:

  • breeds anger
  • embeds bitterness
  • creates chasms ( especially in relationships)

Despite the negative feelings and effects, so many of us have very little patience with ourselves—and tend to expect, demand, and punish ourselves for being imperfect. Instead of self-care, we self-destruct.

But, patience doesn’t require perfection and it allows us to be understanding when we struggle through our challenges. In patience is the freedom to learn, grow, and heal.

# 4. Value

When we take actions that move us towards our goals, or remove something (or someone) harmful, we become active participants in increasing our self-significance.

Though we don’t typically go through our days thinking about how to add value to ourselves, we should. To create a healthier value foundation, try choosing things that:

  • enhance your strength
  • build character
  • improve your skills

Another plus…the more we invest in our sense of worth, the more likely we are to walk away from people and situations that discount us—which also builds our confidence and self-trust.

Sometimes self-care is letting go of people and circumstances that prevent us from engaging in it.

# 5. Recognition 

It is important to keep in mind that achievements don’t have to be massive and we don’t have to completely overcome a challenge before we recognize our efforts.

Our successes can come in the form of micro-achievements.

For example, I struggle with being disorganized, and typical methods don’t work for me. So, sometimes I congratulate myself on simply putting something back when I’m done. To someone else, that might be a no-brainer. But, for me, it’s a big deal.

Giving ourselves a pat on the back and acknowledging even the smallest accomplishments is a priceless gift. Unfortunately, it is way more common for us to do the opposite.

Instead of recognizing the steps we are taking forward, we focus on what we are getting wrong. This negative self-talk demoralizes us and becomes an obstacle to our healing, progress, and growth. 

Remember, we get to decide our own worthy accomplishments. What is the smallest thing you can give yourself a pat on the back for? Do it!

#6. Esteem

To esteem is to “respect and admire”. Esteeming is an intentional action and a gift we can experience every day.  By following rules 4 and 5 , esteeming ourselves will come naturally.

When we are able to identify our own qualities and focus on what we respect and admire about ourselves, our self-regard will blossom. This attitude also helps us to prevent others from devaluing us.

When we respect ourselves , we attract people into our lives who will follow suit.

#7. Attention

Distracted living is a fact of life. Unfortunately, one of the effects of inattention is disconnecting from who we are. We can easily lose touch with our feelings, triggers, values, boundaries, and even our qualities.

Taking the time throughout each day to spend being our own friend is essential. When we learn how to pay attention to our thoughts, body’s cues, and real emotions, we are investing in a lifestyle that will pay dividends.

You Are Worth It

Giving ourselves the gifts of self-care begins with self-awareness. Developing the ability to truly take care of our needs requires that we understand what they are and what is in our best interest.

That won’t happen by accident.

Sometimes, self-care may require the pain and discomfort of removing ourselves from people and circumstances that are preventing us from understanding our worth—and the need to place our well-being first.

While that may be hard to wrap our minds around, we have to remember that we can’t continue to give and give, without running out— of ourselves.

To emphasize the importance, and help us regain our equilibrium, TED has put together an amazing list of talks that speak to the benefits of self-care.

Seven gifts of self-care: breath, grace, patience, value, recognition, esteem, and attention
<mark style="background-color:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)" class="has-inline-color has-black-color">Char Aukland </mark>
Char Aukland

Hi! I’m Char Aukland…Christian, wife, homeschool mom, and U.S. Army veteran.

A love for Christ, sharing the Gospel, and experience from my personal struggles fuel my writing.

Additionally, I am the author of Life’s a Trip, a lifestyle workbook that takes an inside out approach to inner and outer weight loss.